Ways to Pay Off a College Education:1. Work Study
2. Part-time Job
3. Scholarships/Grants/Loans
4. Having a Sugar Daddy
Say what? If you think #4 was a typo, guess again. The Huffington Post reported a story this week about the web site, seekingarrangement.com, which markets "mutually beneficial relationships," and currently cites that it has had an increase in traffic from college females seeking rich men to help get them get through school. Known as "sugar babies," these "attractive, ambitious, and young" females are students or young adults working towards their dream. But in this economy, such a chase can be pain-stakingly difficult alone. Here's the solution--find a rich man. All you have to do is arrange to meet said person say, once a week (or more if you both agree), be each other's companions, go out for dinner, and maybe have intercourse.
A senior in college, Lola, is busy working two part-time jobs, studying for her GREs, and also finding the time to meet her client/Sugar Daddy/friend, B.K., a married man twice her age who slips her $150-$200 per interaction. Another female college student identified by her caramel colored mane, describes the interaction with her Sugar Daddy as a pool rendezvous. A much older gentleman, he's described as balding with leathery skin. After she lathers him with sun tan lotion, they waddle for a bit in the water before they both go to his bedroom. While she says her arrangement with her Sugar Daddy is a means to an end, another college Sugar Baby explicitly comments, "If this isn't prostitution, I don't know what is."
While the site's mechanism of business has critics clamoring about what exactly qualifies as prostitution--how since the site isn't explicitly marketing sex for money, rather offering rich, generous mentors, it isn't quite as such...or rather, since prostitution is the practice of engaging in sexual activity for the exchange of payment and Sugar Babies also provide companionship (and so forth), it's not just about sex. Many even go out on a limb to describe the relationship as modern dating--and Mercedes, a 22-year-old junior in college, agrees: "I don’t see how people can view this as exploitation. I could go out and work three jobs and still go to school and probably make decent grades, but is that really what I want to do? I make more money this way, and I have a lot more fun because I get to go out to concerts, go shopping, see movies and make money off of it. If instead of this I was just dating a rich guy, it’d be almost the same thing, and society wouldn’t look down on that. You know with a sugar daddy that they’re spending a lot of money on you and they clearly want something in return, but is that really any different than how it is with a boyfriend?"
Dating. B.K. describes his relationship with his Sugar Baby as "dating," while, mind you, he has a wife and children about 90-miles from where he and his Baby meet up for some alone time when she's strapped for funds. The New York Times describes the transformation of courtship in the last century, "In the early 1900s, courtship shifted from girls’ porches or parlors to a commercial venture: a date. Etiquette manuals of the time were explicit — boys were to pay for meals, entertainment and transportation, and in return, girls were to provide well-groomed company, rapt attention and at least a certain amount of physical affection. His money bought not only companionship but also her indebtedness." I will go out on a limb to say that this type of arrangement--Sugar Daddies and Babies--does not fit in the category of "dating." While social norms may have men feeling pressured to foot the dinner checks or shelling out dollars for expensive jewelry and flowers, the fact-of-the-matter remains that women do not, and should not, provide "rapt attention" and a "certain amount of physical affection" in exchange. Call me a romantic, but I do believe dating does involve some sense of emotional attachment--may that be adoration or even some degree of love.
While I won't go out on a limb and classify this type of arrangement as prostitution, I will redirect you to that moral fiber in your heart. You know that strange feeling you got when you first read this article? Yes, that's your moral fiber letting you know that something's fishy.
While the site's mechanism of business has critics clamoring about what exactly qualifies as prostitution--how since the site isn't explicitly marketing sex for money, rather offering rich, generous mentors, it isn't quite as such...or rather, since prostitution is the practice of engaging in sexual activity for the exchange of payment and Sugar Babies also provide companionship (and so forth), it's not just about sex. Many even go out on a limb to describe the relationship as modern dating--and Mercedes, a 22-year-old junior in college, agrees: "I don’t see how people can view this as exploitation. I could go out and work three jobs and still go to school and probably make decent grades, but is that really what I want to do? I make more money this way, and I have a lot more fun because I get to go out to concerts, go shopping, see movies and make money off of it. If instead of this I was just dating a rich guy, it’d be almost the same thing, and society wouldn’t look down on that. You know with a sugar daddy that they’re spending a lot of money on you and they clearly want something in return, but is that really any different than how it is with a boyfriend?"
Dating. B.K. describes his relationship with his Sugar Baby as "dating," while, mind you, he has a wife and children about 90-miles from where he and his Baby meet up for some alone time when she's strapped for funds. The New York Times describes the transformation of courtship in the last century, "In the early 1900s, courtship shifted from girls’ porches or parlors to a commercial venture: a date. Etiquette manuals of the time were explicit — boys were to pay for meals, entertainment and transportation, and in return, girls were to provide well-groomed company, rapt attention and at least a certain amount of physical affection. His money bought not only companionship but also her indebtedness." I will go out on a limb to say that this type of arrangement--Sugar Daddies and Babies--does not fit in the category of "dating." While social norms may have men feeling pressured to foot the dinner checks or shelling out dollars for expensive jewelry and flowers, the fact-of-the-matter remains that women do not, and should not, provide "rapt attention" and a "certain amount of physical affection" in exchange. Call me a romantic, but I do believe dating does involve some sense of emotional attachment--may that be adoration or even some degree of love.
While I won't go out on a limb and classify this type of arrangement as prostitution, I will redirect you to that moral fiber in your heart. You know that strange feeling you got when you first read this article? Yes, that's your moral fiber letting you know that something's fishy.
A female college Baby, when asked about her arrangement with her Sugar Daddies, admits that she uses a fake name when dealing with the web site and her clients. She confesses that only her roommate knows of her situation. This is her safety net. When she goes out to meet her clients, she makes sure that her roommate knows exactly where she's going, and they make sure to text throughout the day until she returns back to the apartment. Another Sugar Baby, a young women with dark eyes and skin, comments that her physical appearance is to her advantage, allowing her to play any role her Sugar Daddy desires--be it "Spanish, Indian, or Middle-Eastern mistress."
But this double identity is a dangerous one--especially for young women who, many of which, are still on a journey of trying to figure out who they are, what they want, and who they want to become. It creates a possibility for long-term psychological trauma. While a few young women have reported feeling "dirty" and "disgusted" with themselves after such interactions with their Sugar Daddies, others succumb to the high of fast money, new-found luxurious attention, and materialistic gifts; suggesting that this sought arrangement can quickly turn into an addiction.
All that aside, would you want your daughter snuggling with a man old enough to be her father or even grandfather, in order to foot her semester's tuition or monthly rent? Would you feel comfortable, if you were a Sugar Baby, telling your children or friends that you managed to put yourself through school by waitressing on the weekends, washing dishes in the dining hall in between classes, and sharing some body heat with your respective Sugar Daddies? Frankly, if young women feel the need to resort to sleeping with rich men in order to afford their college education, society must have a lot of missing screws and bolts somewhere.
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Holly Tran, Staff Writer, is currently a junior at the University of Rhode Island pursing a major in Biological Sciences.
Holly Tran, Staff Writer, is currently a junior at the University of Rhode Island pursing a major in Biological Sciences.
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